Concerns are common. anxious children and adolescents are worried about issues related to different schools, such as teachers, friends, fitting in, and / or being away from their parents. Some common concerns include:
Who will be my new teacher?
What if a new teacher I mean?
Will be one of my friends are in my class?
Do I fit in?
Is my clothes OK?
Do I look stupid?
Who will I sit with at lunch?
What if I miss the bus?
What if I can not understand the new school?
What if something bad happened to mom or dad when I was in school?
While it's normal for your child to have a concern, it is very important to your child's school. Avoidance schools will only increase and strengthen your child's fears in the long term, and make it increasingly more difficult to attend. In addition to missing school work, children and teenagers who live at home because of anxiety miss:
a valuable opportunity to develop and practice social skills
opportunities critical to the success and mastery
recognized and praised for talent
develop a close friendship with classmate
Most importantly, anxious children and adolescents who skip school can not collect evidence challenging unwarranted fears and their disaster!
How To Deal With Back-to-School Worries!
Here are some general strategies parents can use to handle back-to-school concerns, followed by a schedule leading up to the first day of school.
Look after the basics.
Nothing copes well when they are tired or hungry. anxious children often forget to eat, do not feel hungry, and do not get enough sleep. Providing frequent and nutritious snacks for your child.During this time, you also need to build in a regular routine, so life more predictable for your child. This routine may involve the morning and sleeping habits, and eating schedule. See Healthy Habits for Homes
Encourage your child to share his fears.
Ask your child what makes him worry. Tell your child that it is normal to have fears. Before and during the first few weeks of school, set a regular time and place to talk. Some children feel most comfortable in a private room with your full attention (such as before bed or during meal time). Teenagers often welcome some disturbance to cut the intensity of the concerns and feelings (such as driving a car, or walk around) them.
Avoid providing certainty ... is not, solve problems and plan! Children often seek reassurance that bad things will not happen to reduce their fears. Do not convince them with "Do not worry!" Or "Everything will be fine!" Instead, encourage your child to think of ways to solve his problem. For example, "If the (worst) case, what can you do?" Or "Let's think about some ways you can handle the situation." It gives you the opportunity to coach your child on how to tackle (and interpret), both real and imagined a scary situation. You also will give your child the tools he needs to cope with unexpected situations that may arise. See How Reassurance address excessive Looking for more details.
Here is a sample script for your child involved in problem solving and planning (instead of guarantee):
Role-play with your child. Sometimes playing the role of a particular situation with your child can help him make a plan, and feel more confident that he will be able to handle the situation. For example, let your child play the part of teachers or classmates bullying demands. Then, model appropriate responses and tackle technique for your child, to help them calm down. For more information about role-playing, see Kids Helping Your Anxious friends
Focus on the positive! Encourage your child to re-direct the attention of the concerns, and the positive direction. Ask your child, "What are three things you are most passionate in the first day of school?" Most children can think of something good, even if it's just a special snack or go home at the end of the day. Chances are that fun aspect just get ignored by recurrent concerns.
Paying attention to your own behavior. It can cause anxiety for parents to hand over the care and responsibility of their children to teachers. Children take cues from their parents, so the more confidence and comfort you can model, the more your child will understand there is no reason to fear. Be supportive but firm. When saying goodbye in the morning, saying it cheerfully - once! Make sure you do not value your child protests, crying, or angry by allowing him to avoid going to school. Conversely, in a calm tone, said: "I can see that going to school scares you, but you still have to go. Tell me what you worry about, so we can talk about it." Most likely, your child is anxious about something require a bit of problem solving, role-playing, planning, and / or involvement of teachers.
Timeline Leading Up First Day of School
(You may not need to take all these steps)
At least one week before:
Start your child on the school-day routine - wake up, eat, and sleep at a regular time. Explain that everyone in the family needs to adjust to the new schedule, so she does not feel alone with this change.
For children who have trouble getting up and out of bed, give them the "big people" alarm clock, and let them practice using it.
Ask your child to help school lunch plan for the first week.
Create a list of school supplies together and planning a pleasant shopping trip.
Teaching and practicing skills to use when feeling nervous, such as How to Do Breathing Calm and Developing and Using Cognitive Coping Cards
A few days before the school:
Go to the school several times - walking, driving, or taking the bus. For young children who take school buses, describe and draw out the bus routes, including where the bus goes and how long it takes to get to school. Talk about bus safety.
For new students, taking a tour of the school. Check your child's classroom, cafeteria, and a bathroom. If possible, meet your child's teacher with your child present.
Ask your child to help choose an outfit for the first week of school. Let your child wear her favorite clothes on the first day.
Together with your child, pack her school the night before, including treats.
For younger children were nervous separating, suggest taking a special object to school that reminds him of home. A reassuring note in the afternoon children can also help ease separation anxiety.
First day of school:
Have your child go to school with a friend for the first few days.
Tell the teacher that your child has some separation anxiety - most teachers who are experts in this field, and has many years of experience!
Most importantly, praise and reward your child for daring behavior!
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